Love is such an odd thing. I've never really understood why it's so hard for a couple to be happy when you both ultimately want the same thing. How do two people who want to be in love and want to be happy screw it up so badly? It's not that hard to figure out really...there are egos to contend with mostly. Both people thinking they know the way things should be, and being convinced that anything other than that is some sort of personal attack on them.
I was thinking the other day..how odd the concept of selfishness is. In a significant other it's about the worst thing you can be, but then I look at my daughter and she is the most selfish being on the planet. But that's to be expected, she's a toddler. However, my reaction to her selfishness is entirely different than my reaction to the selfishness of her Dad. I can't really figure it out, other than to say he should know better. But what do his knowing have to do with how much effort I have to put forward? I put more effort into taking care of my daughter than I put in to fulfilling his needs, and I don't resent her for it even a little bit. What is it about the way that I process it that makes her selfishness endearing and his appalling?
I guess it comes back to my view of relationships in general. There are very few I trust wholeheartedly. My daughter, I trust. No matter what goes on in life, we will be there for eachother, I refuse to believe any other way. My sibling, my parents...I trust. My fiancee? Sort of? Romantic relationships just seem so fickle. And in truth, he will never have the history I've had with the rest of my family. I've known him 3 years...I've known my family for my entire life. It's weird to think that I would be able to put him on the same level of trust as them when I've got a fraction of the history. To say otherwise feels coerced. I feel like there's something wrong with me admitting this, but in viewing it logically, it seems odd that anyone could claim otherwise. I'm not saying I won't ever trust him entirely, but it'll take time.
I guess I don't really have any conclusions to my rambling this time, just some questions I'm trying to sort out in my head.
