Relationships

I really liked the part of Eat, Pray, Love where she talked about how despite the disaster and the many other far worse things a person can be dealing with, give them relationship troubles and that's what they'll dwell on. Without getting into the details (half because I don't like them and half because they're unnecessary for the purpose of emptying my head), I think I actually found the one, and was given up. Now I could argue that "the one" would never give you up, but the reason is in the details so I'll leave it at that. Why I think he's the one? Because I don't think of him in the terms of any normal relationship. When he came into my life I wasn't afraid of losing him, he just fit like he always was and always would be in my life. I always thought that true love was when you both felt lucky to have eachother. But I can't even think in those terms. It's more similar to the way I see my family. Yes I am truly lucky to have them, but it's not like I look at them and think "could I do better", that thought seems as absurd applied to my family as it does to my one. So my problem is, how do you move past that? I'm trying, we're currently on radio silence, but I don't feel like I'm less attached as much as less informed. Now it's only been a week, so I know with time the attachment will fade, but it's such a challenge to picture that changing. Give it a year I suppose, I always find it funny to look back a year and think of how much has changed. I'm rarely worried about the same things or feel the same frustrations, yet looking a year forward I can't picture anything being different.

In other news, the news I should be concerned about, I have heart surgery Wed. (not open heart, minimally invasive heart). I'll take all the positive thoughts I can get, even if this is just being thrown out to get the words out of my head :)